April 3, 2008
Getting the Support of Your Family: Online Business Battle
Starting an online business is pretty exciting and can be all-consuming at times. There are so many ideas, so much to learn and so many obstacles to overcome (some big and some small) to get to the success you’ve dreamed of.
Earlier this week, I asked if your spouse and family support your business. Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of people - both men and women - go through tough times with this issue. No matter who you are or where you’re coming from, here are some ideas to diffuse the resistance you get from your family.
1. Approach it like a business. I know this sounds kind of obvious, but given the low cost of entry into Internet marketing, it’s easy to just try to wing it. I know - I did it for a while!
Research your markets, make a business plan, manage your finances responsibly and keep your spouse up-to-date on your plans. Your family probably doesn’t need to know all these details, but your spouse certainly has a right to know this. At the same time, if you see your spouse’s eyes glaze over when you’re talking, learn to give him the abridged version of what’s happening in your business.
2. Manage Your Time Better. A lot of times that I see people having friction with their spouse and family is when they are spending inordinate amounts of time on the computer.
I see women get all wrapped in their business stuff and “networking” that they forget their is a real live family around them.
I see men puff up and declare their wife doesn’t understand that he’s doing this so they can have a better life. Then other men pipe up and say, “Yeah, she’ll be quiet when the money comes rolling in.”
*SIGH*
You know, your family is probably concerned somewhat about the money, but more often than not, it’s likely an issue of your family just plain old missing you. If you’re unapproachable when you’re staring at the screen and it seems like you’re always staring at the screen - get back to REALITY! Please!
Yes, starting a new business takes a lot of hard work, but that doesn’t mean you need 12-14 hours per day at your computer. If you’re on the computer that long, don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re actually working productively that whole time. Plan your schedule instead and limit the time you have to get it done. You’ll get more done in 4 hours than you will in the free-for-all 12 hour day.
Turn of the computer regularly, ensure your household responsibilities get done and spend more time with your family. Period.
3. Be Responsible with Your Money. I touched on this earlier, but it’s worth having it’s own point. Don’t quit your job when you don’t have a way to support your family from your online business earning. Don’t purchase thousands of dollars of inventory when you haven’t proven that your products will sell. Don’t jump into expensive advertising when you haven’t done any small add testing and refined your results. If your family just sees more and more money going down the drain, no wonder they’re getting concerned.
But is it all your fault?
I know the suggestions above hinge on your taking responsibility for the issues here. But if you want things to get better, nagging at each other isn’t going to make things better. Doing your part to show your committed to your family and your business (but family comes before business!)…can make a world of difference. Give them some time to come around and you’ll be surprised at what happens.
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As a work at home mom starting up an Internet business, I agree it is hard to juggle between work and home. My husband is supportive of the business, but at the same time thinks that because I am not working outside the home that I have a lot of spare time. Do you have any suggestions about how to optimize time while home with small children?
Wow! Alice has spoken strongly to us Work-At-Home-Moms (WAHM’s) hasn’t she?
Taking time to re-evaluate your goals for your family overall may be useful to you as it has been for me. Some of my clients have found that a time log has really helped cut to the chase in mirroring their values more than they realized.
*Consider keeping a mini notebook, pad and pen, or whatever you use most throughout the day for taking notes.
*Put down your start time, each specific activity you do during the course of the day (one right after the other).
*And finally note the end time for 3 to 5 days.
*Then look over your activity log for where your priorities really are, based on how you’ve chosen to spend your time, and you’ll be better prepared to share the importance of your contribution to the overall strength of your family. You’ll give your spouse (and hopefully your best friend) the privilege of contributing valuable (though painful) feedback to your strategy. You’ll also be able to consider whether your task list is actually in-keeping with the optimal lifestyle you envisioned that working from home would result in. This assignment will take a bit of practice if you are new to detailing your steps at this level. So give yourself permission to gear up at first. I have to tell you, this quote made me think so much that I added it to my latest book, and my own family’s mastermind strategy too. I can just imagine your husband wanting to fill your love tank already. Go Mom! Go!
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
Socrates
Adelaide Zindler, FP (Fearless Parent)
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Well said
Hi Alice,
Very nice article - of course I look at it more from a father’s perspecetive. It’s not always easy to convince my wife that my late hours on the computer will result in more income for the family! (Especially when the money isn’t quite flowing in yet.) But she is supportive to a point.
I was reading an ad for a traffic program and it also dealt with online marketing and the family - if you get some time, you can read it at www.maximumoverdrive.com. It’s an interesting read and really drives home the point of your business and how it interacts with your family.
Cheers,
Jon
Thanks for your thoughts everyone. Jonathon…I’m speaking to everyone - moms, dads, people without kids. Sometimes the work at home moms that come around think I’m only speaking to them…maybe cuz I am one.
I’ll check out that resource. Thanks for sharing it.
Sorry, Donna…I missed your question yesterday. I know it sounds simplistic, but make your kids a priority and carefully plan your work in chunks when you have time throughout the day.
There’s no point in trying to work on the computer with the kids going all crazy. It stresses them out. It stresses you out. You’ll get much more done if you have some peace.
In order to get peace, enlist the help of a neighbor, your spouse…whomever. But make sure you plan the time, so you can also plan your work.
You hit one nail right on the head for me. I am spending way too much time at the computer and it could probley be alot more productive. I am going to have to figure out how to make my time more productive.