June 24, 2008
Do You Defend Yourself?
After last week’s post about Marketing Blogs - Hollywood Tabloid Style, it got me to thinking about how should one go about defending oneself against criticism.
If you’re in the public eye, you’re bound to face some criticism at some point. Sometimes the criticism is pretty benign and it’s easy to let it just pass by. Other times, it can be harsh and very public…so what do you do?
I remember back when Kelly and I started MomMasterminds.com, we came under some heavy criticism because we were doing something that hadn’t really been done in the work at home mom community…and we were charging a premium for it.
Some vocal members of the WAHM community questioned, “Who are they to say they are experts?” and were we really qualified to teach others. At the time, I defended myself, but avoided a heated battle. Most of the defense was done by people who already knew the results we could bring, but it was hard to hold myself back.
Fast forward a few years later and sure there are probably a few that whisper “Who do they think they are?” - but most of that has subsided. We just worked hard and proved ourselves.
But what do you do when someone just wants to cause trouble and personally attack you? Do you defend yourself or do you let it slide?
Whenever I have been tempted to go into an all-out battle, I do remember something I heard Armand Morin say. When there’s public crucifixion of himself or his products, he says he just stands back and let’s everyone else battle it out. And as he does that, he watches the orders that pour in as a result. Showing there really is some truth to the statement that “Any publicity is good publicity.”
(Coincidentally, the public criticism that Kelly & I faced a few years back resulted in a rush of new members for us too.)
There will always be some people who are on your side and others that aren’t…maybe we should just let people make their minds up on their own.
Whatcha think? It’s your turn…do you feel compelled to defend yourself? Or if you’ve never had to defend yourself, how do you think you’d react?
I haven’t really had this happen in my business life.
I think I would defend myself on my own turf, but not to the point that it makes me lose focus.
Better to spend time doin’ what you’re doin’ than fight the turkeys.
When I first started Vegan Family Living I did feel compelled to defend myself because it is in my nature to defend myself anyway. Eventually however, I grew tired of it and decided that there are much bigger rings to box in and that if it were not worth my time then forget it.
I have learned that some people are just looking for a fight over tiny issues that don’t deserve a response and so I just won’t.
I think if someone’s public attacking of your character is possibly going to hurt your reputation (business or personal) then it’s worth trying to sort things out and make sure everyone has their facts straight.
If it’s just going to turn into a circus where people pull up a chair and be entertained while eating their popcorn, then it’s best to back out graciously and let people make their own decisions based on your previous reputation and credentials. Hopefully they’ll make the right decision providing other people aren’t being deceitful and pumping them full of misleading information.
I guess each circumstance calls for different measures.
“Any publicity is good publicity.” is just dandy for anyone with a *name* in the industry.
As for the other 98%, not so much.
I was somewhat recently attacked on a forum. I got lucky. It is a very popular forum, on which I am very well known and liked.
Within a couple-3 days, said attacker was no where to be found.
Flip it - I produce my very first product. Joe guru trashes it and turns his attention to me personally…..nope, not a darn little itty bitty teeny weeny thing I could do about it.
I suppose you just live clean, avoid certain urges and you should be OK…we hope.
You know who you are and what you can do. Those that do know you (read you-follow you, whatever) also know. And in a month or so, no ones even going to remember or care what happened.
Yep, it happens to the best of us and sometimes you just have to be ‘thick-skinned’ when you are under attack.
I will attempt to defend myself but I try to do it in a calm, professional manner. If I’m confident and sure of myself, my products or my promotions, that will come through and people often find a new respect for you.
Actually Alice has it right, just kill ‘em with kindness and you’ll do find
Dennis…I wouldn’t take it so hard. The experience I mentioned a few years back was in a community where a WHOLE LOT of people had no idea who we were. We persevered and made it through…in fact, we came out on top.
Thanks to everyone for sharing.
Did I sound like I took it that bad?
Actualy Alice, you weren’t as small as you might think you were. If memory serves, mom-masterminds opened just a couple months after I came online (in a business capacity) and I already knew who you were
I wasn’t sure, but wanted to cheer you up, Dennis!
Yes, there were quite a few that knew us, but in the instance of the heated discussion, there were quite a few that had no clue who we were…which is always the case. You can be well-known, but unless you’re a bona-fide celebrity, there will be plenty of people who haven’t a clue who you are.