How do you say thank you when thank you isn’t enough?
July 10th, 2010 | Author: Melissa Ingold
I am in tears and utterly speechless by the outpouring of love, prayers and support that has been sent our way. I just can’t believe it. Thank you seems like so little after being given so much by you all.
Early death wasn’t just a possibility for Kyle, it was a reality. But we always believed that it would be a slow decline, that he would eventually require hospitalization or round the clock nursing. That we would know it was coming. That we could prepare for it as best as anyone could.
Never once did we believe that one night I would put a smiling, giggling little boy to bed and wake to never see him alive again. The horror of that moment will live with me forever. It replays over and over in my mind like some horrible, broken record. The “what ifs” tripping all over themselves in my thoughts. My emotions shift from one extreme to the next. It’s hard.
No one is ever prepared for the day they’ll have to bury their child. Just thinking about it was enough to send the denial racing back, enveloping me in its sweet rose colored arms. I couldn’t live with the clouded thoughts of loss, and now it fills my days.
In light of the fundraiser that my friend Kelly McCausey put together for my family, I know many of you may be thinking, “But isn’t she a successful online business owner, doesn’t she make good money?”
The truth is, I like to think so and I do. But that’s only part of the story.
Earlier this year we made the decision to sell our house, and move back to our hometown to be among friends and family again. Raising a special needs child is both physically and mentally exhausting. The constant care, the medical appointments, and the stress and fear of what’s to come can drown you. And when you live in a city where you have no friends or family to support you, you start to lose yourself.
And so, 2 weeks before Kyle passed away, we found the perfect house and signed a contract to buy it. A week later we put our house up for sale. With our savings and my income for the next little while tied up to make this happen - Kyle passed away, adding yet another financial obligation to the pile – a hefty funeral bill.
I can honestly say that if we could get out of our house buying/selling contracts, I wouldn’t do it. I can’t sleep in my bedroom anymore, where Kyle’s crib was and where he died while I was sleeping. This house is where we’ve spent the last 2 years fighting and hurting for Kyle. We need to get out. It hurts too much to stay.
And it’s you, all of you, who are making it possible for us to continue moving forward. To get back on our feet through your generous donations. To ease the pain of our loss with your heartfelt thoughts and prayers.
So you can see why saying a simple thank you will never feel like enough.
From my heart to yours,
Posted in Blog
44 Responses to “How do you say thank you when thank you isn’t enough?”
Leave a Reply
"FREE
Online Marketing
Success Kit!"
- Free Report – “Sales Secrets: 3 Simple Strategies for Selling Anything Online"
- Free Audio & Transcript – “Emotional Marketing Success Secrets: Connecting With Your Market”
- Free
Subscription – To “Internet
Marketing Sweetie” with free tips, advice
and resources.
Your privacy is protected and will only be used to communicate with you regarding Internet Marketing-related subjects.
Twitter: jenknox
:
You know we’re always here for you Melissa….anything at all we can do, you just ask.
Love and hugs to you and your family!
I am so sorry for your loss, Melissa. I will continue to pray for you and your family. I think that Kelly’s fundraiser is awesome, and I love that God is truly providing for you and your family through it. {{hugs}}
Melissa, My thoughts are with you and your family during this sad time. Nothing could be more traumatic than the loss of a child and you have my heartfelt sympathy.
Twitter: tinalancio
:
Melissa,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I can’t imagine the pain and sadness your family must be feeling and having to move forward must be the hardest thing to do but I know you can do it.
Grief is never easy and for those of us who learned of your loss have a hard time putting words together to make you feel better so I hope the donations help.
You have my deepest smypathy, take care of yourself.
Tina
Melissa, please know you are in our hearts and thoughts!
Melissa, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time.
Melissa,
I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if I can find the words to truly express my deep sorrow for you and your family. I can’t even imagine the pain you’re going through to not only lose him, but to lose him so suddenly, and in the same room as you slept.
My heart hurts so bad for you right now. I wish I could reach through this computer screen right now and embrace you for as long as you needed. I wish I could do something to help you, even beyond helping with the funeral costs.
I am too far away, I’m afraid, to do much more but pray … and support you from middle America.
Please, please know that if you need me, I’m here. For anything… ever. I care for you and that little family of yours and am sad that little Kyle is gone.
Much love, prayers and support – your friend, Nell
Melissa,
I can hear in your voice how extremely hard this is for you, “hard” doesn’t even express what you’re feeling. I can’t even begin to know how you feel.
God is good and He will help you get through this, you are a wonderful Mom and Kyle was so lucky to have you as a Mom.
Anything I can do, anytime. Just send me an email, I’ll be here to listen or pray with you. I’m thankful that I could at least play a small part in helping with your burden, we’re linking arms with you. We love you!
Love Vera.
My thoughts are with you and your family at this very difficult time and we are all thinking of you.
Take care
Melissa,
My thoughts and prayers continue to be with your family. May your house situation go smoothly and your family begin to heal as you move to a new home.
Twitter: aureliaw
:
My thoughts and prayers are with you and the family Melissa. I can’t begin to imagine all of the emotions that you must be feeling.
HUGS!!!
Twitter: tishialee
:
Melissa I can’t even begin to imagine what you and your family are going through right now. The loss of a child is something no parent should ever have to go through. My heart breaks for you and I know that no words I say can help ease the pain but I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and if you need anything please just let me know.
Hugs!
Tishia
Twitter: shannoncherry
:
Melissa,
You are one brave woman and have a very courageous family. I can not imagine what you have already been through and are currently going through.
My heart goes out to you and your family.
Whatever you need… ask.
Shannon Cherry
Twitter: AlainaFrederick
:
Melissa – I can feel the pain in your words and I cry tears with you. There is nothing I can say or do to take the pain away so instead I say thank you for sharing your pain with us and reminding me to give my babies hugs and kisses every chance I get.
You are in our prayers.
What a beautiful little boy! He was lucky to have such a great family. I’m glad that Kelly arranged the fundraiser because people want to help in some way, even if it’s just financially. Just like a lot of people, I wish I could do more.
I’m glad you are moving forward with the house purchase – I understand your feelings too well with not wanting to live in the house so full of memories. It’s hard.
I wish you the best Melissa and sending {{hugs}}!
Take care ~
I have no idea what to say because I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you must be feeling. You are a very wonderful person, a terrific mom, and a great business woman. My heart and prayers are with you and your family.
Stephanie
Melissa, I emailed you my cell phone #. ANYTIME you need to talk, please feel free to call me.
My daughter is diabetic and losing her has been my worst fear over the past few years even though I know she’d be in heaven. I awoke one night about 3 am and ran to her room and found her having a seizure. It’s something I can’t get out of my head so I can’t imagine what you are going through, finding Kyle the way you did. Please seek professional help if you need to. Do not worry about what others think. You went through something extremely traumatic! We love you!
Twitter: DianaWalker
:
Oh, Oh, Oh, Melissa, my heart aches so much when I read this, and you have really expressed yourself so amazingly – I wish I was there to give you a big hug, but the virtual world and the world of friends we have met online feels so real, and I know you get my thoughts and prayers and love, along with all the other wonderful friends online.
What a treasured photo of Kyle. What an angel.
My love to you.
Diana
My heart cries for you and your family! What a sweet and beautiful child! You gave him your best and made a happy life for him!!!
Twitter: lizmcgee
:
Hi Melissa, You’ve been in my prayers and thoughts all weekend and to see you sending emails and getting back to work. I know from my own experiences that it helps.
I simply can’t imagine how horrible your experience has been but with the support of friends and community you are living proof that we can do anything.
Take care and my God bless you,*hugs*
Liz
Melissa,
I am so very sorry for your loss. Tishia put it best when she said “her heart breaks for you.” That is exactly how I felt when I first heard what happened, and it continues to ache. Please know that you have many friends, with aching hearts; and while we may not be physically located close to you, we are all standing with you in spirit. You, Kyle, and your family, are in my thoughts and prayers.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.
Although it’s difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.
My deepest condolence,
Robert
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/freelancemomcom
:
Dear Melissa –
No words could possibly express how much we all wish we could possibly absorb some of your pain into our own hearts.
My prayers and loving thoughts are with you,
Lori
Melissa,
Words are not enough….I send you love and peace to surround you and your husband….to have the strength and peace that passes all understanding to guide you through this time.
KatrinaMarie
Twitter: overallbeauty
:
Hi Melissa,
My heart feels for you.. You have been in my prayers.. You were truly blessed to have Kyle even if for a short time..
Take Care..
Kim
Twitter: athomemom
:
You’ve just gone through something that no mother should have to deal with. I am so sorry you have to know what it’s like to lose a child. And yes, there are people on the other side of the computer screen, wishing they could do more than just donate a little money. Hugs, Genesis
Twitter: buckeyeva
:
Melissa & Family~
You will be in my prayers and on the other side of you computer, should you ever want to talk to me. I’m a good listener and have experienced the loss of a child as well.
I wanted to send you a book but don’t have your address. If you ever want the book (it’s part of the grief ministry I have) please email me.
If you decline, that’s ok
I understand, but wanted to put it out there for!
((hugs)) Steph
I don’t know what to say other than…
Praying for you.
May God be with you and yours.
You don’t have to say anything…*hugs* Please take care of yourself and your family.
Melissa-
I don’t even know what to say. You are constantly in my prayers.
Michelle
Twitter: TanyaW
:
Melissa,
I can’t image how you must be feeling after losing Kyle so abruptly.
My heart goes out to you and your family praying for strength as you go through each day. Be patient with yourself.
Tanya
Twitter: terrifore
:
I am so sorry for your loss. No words can touch how deeply your pain is right now but knowing others are praying and thinking about you may help down the road. Blessings to your family through this valley.
Warmly,
Terri
Thoughts and prayers to you and your family! My heart sinks everytime I think about what you are going through. I’m so so sorry. It’s times like this I wish the virtual world didn’t make everybody so far away. I know how much a hot meal, a big hug and help around the house could help you right now. I wish I could do that for you.
Know that you are in our thoughts.
~Jenn
Melissa – you experienced a loss so great that I’m not sure what to say other than you are supported and thought of warmly in this community. I pray for you and your family that you will find comfort in your memories of your baby boy and in the love that never really goes away.
Twitter: refreshingwater
:
Melissa, I can’t imagine the horror of that moment you went through. Tears are in my eyes. No mother should have to go through that. Please know that I am praying for you and your family, that Jesus would bring you His comfort, daily strength, and peace in this very difficult time. I think the fund-raiser for yall is awesome and will pray for many to respond to help you. Please know others are here for you, praying for you.
Melissa,
I am so sorry for your loss.
May the love of those around you help you through the days ahead and may your memories give you strength.
My prayers are with you!
Kathleen
Twitter: babyboomerbev
:
Melissa,
Although I don’t know you very well, I want to express my sincere condolenses to you and your family. You’re right, losing a child is a tought, tough loss but faith in God and His promises will renew your strength. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. May God bless you.
Kyle had the best thing a boy could wish for, a family who loved him and made him happy! God bless you all. xxxx
Melissa,
I want you to know you’re in my prayers. I lost my 8 year old brother about a year and a half ago to cancer and saw him pass right in front of my eyes.
It hurts. It never stops hurting and even to this day sometimes I just break down and cry.
I will tell you what helped me – everyday I wake up and say “how can I honor Ryan’s spirit today to touch and impact the lives of others as he has touched mine?”
At first that was the only thing that got me through the day. And it made me a stronger person over time – hopefully you can do this with Kyle. In this way he continues to live on through you. At least that has been my experience.
Seriously, if you ever need anything contact me and I’ll see what I can do. I wish you and your family the best and you do wonderful things in the future to honor your son.
Kyle left footprints in many hearts and he chose you to love and cherish him during his short time here for good reason. You did everything you could for him and one day in your heart you’ll know that. In the meantime, bless you and your family.
Twitter: Marya_Miller
:
Melissa, thanks for sharing news at this painful time. I pray for you and your family daily, and it’s good to hear news of you.
Wishing you all the best with the move, and much healing. You did everything you could for Kyle and more. Words cannot express.
Twitter: francivile
:
I’m so sorry Melissa … I just found a few days ago about Kyle,
his picture shows such a lively, pleasant face … I know how
terrible you must have felt … I lost one of my sons in an accident a long time ago …
I’m glad you’re able to move close to your families and my
wishes are that you and your husband have a good life with your two children and Kyle’s memory.
Love,
Fran
Twitter: vanetworking
:
Melissa, my heart goes out to your family’s loss and sorry this happened so suddenly. {{{ HUGS }}}}
Twitter: lisamariemary
:
Major hugs and massive prayers to you and your family, Melissa! I really appreciate your post and I think you’ve said thank you quite beautifully. God bless you!